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The Anti-Shower, Shower

By Arati Sharma

September 28^th, 2019

When our sisters approached me about hosting a baby shower, I had a panic attack(s).

Pregnancy has been a beautiful experience thus far, but also quite anxiety inducing. For some reason it’s brought out the superstitious, nervous part of me. I could chalk it up to hormones, but I knew it was more than that.

I even decided to take maternity leave early to focus on myself and what I wanted out of this journey. Something I never thought I’d do. Imagine working woman Arati not at the office until the last possible minute before having a baby. My break from work is another post of itself.

So the idea of pre-celebrating before the delivery, opening gifts, and everyone staring at me did not make me feel comfortable. Anyone with high-functioning anxiety can relate to the feelings of guilt that come with overthinking nice things your friends and family want to do for you. After all, none of these are real problems, in fact they are blessings. Unfortunately, anxiety and perspective don't go hand in hand.

After the second panic attack and tears, Satish sat me to figure out what was going on. He knew I would eventually regret not sharing this milestone with our loved ones - and even cracked his favourite Keeping up with the Kardashians joke "we gotta make memories". Ha!

For something as silly as a shower, I was putting so much pressure on myself. Keeping myself up at night with all the "supposed tos" and "shoulds" of pregnancy, rather than enjoying these moments. I reframed everything I thought I should be doing and feeling, and decided to focus on being myself.

To each is own, but here were my rules:

no pink, blue, or gender reveal 🙅🏾
no gift opening 💆🏾
no games, but activations were okay 😂
informal food, fun drink menu, and lounging 🍾
old school hip hop, Punjabi music if the vibe calls for it (it did) 💃🏽
fun ambience for friends and family to catch up 🙋🏾
include kids in the celebration so they feel like a part of this journey and can welcome a new member of the clan too 👶🏾
coed for the same reason ^ 🧔🏾
and the most importantly...an opportunity to give back. because again, these are not real problems 🙏🏾

My sister, with the help of Satish and my SIL, took this and created the most amazing experience. An "anti-shower" brunch as they called it with food, friends, and family. We opted for a donation registry, where our family and friends could purchase diapers and gift cards. Satish and I will be dropping them off at local shelters in Toronto currently running low on baby and postpartum supplies.

Donation registry is open for those who want to contribute.

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